Day Eleven -- Astrology

I hesitate to put astrology on my list of 100 things because I am ambivalent about how I feel about it. Do I think it has merit? Yes. Do I understand it completely? No. Do I want to understand more? Not sure. I'm fascinated with it but at the same time it scares me. And part of the reason it scares me is I don't understand it completely. And partial understanding leads to misunderstanding but complete understanding can lead to knowing too much that I think could be better left alone.

For instance, in looking at my daughter's solar return chart this year, I could see my mother's death. I've been prepared for her death for quite a few years so it wasn't the shock I might have felt at seeing my own death. My husband has said astrology is like the above drawing, and calls it "peeking behind the veil." I agree. Why can't I be patient and let things unfold naturally? Does it make me feel better to possibly have an idea of what might happen in the future? No, it only makes me obsess. In order to feel in control, some people like to know what's coming down the pike. It only makes me feel less in control.

With all that said, I still find it an interesting subject and started exploring it last year as I felt I needed to start exercising my brain a bit more. I could have chosen Sudoku or crossword puzzles or any number of subjects I know nothing about, but no, I chose astrology. And it truly is a good brain exercise remembering signs, degrees, aspects, and putting disparate pieces together like a jigsaw puzzle and coming to a clear picture that had been fuzzy. There is always a little sense of accomplishment and delight when I make a discovery like finding my husband has Neptune in Scorpio in his 2nd house of money. Neptune represents drugs, Scorpio represents research and that is how he makes his money, via drug research. And the fact that Scorpio is on my 7th house of marriage makes sense too as it shows the type of person I'm likely to marry-- a researcher.

Still, as the Bible says, on earth we can only see through a glass darkly. No clear picture of what is in store for us can ever be had by mere mortals. Doesn't matter what tool we use to divine the future, the only time things will be completely understood is after we die. At least, that's what I believe.

And then there is the conundrum of "what exactly does the Bible say about astrology, divination, prophets?" I've read a lot and am still confused. Sometimes it sounds like the Bible has good things to say, other times it sounds completely forbidden. For me it comes down to the belief that no one but God can know exactly what his plans are for each human. Knowing the future is not going to save us, only God can do that.

I feel a real push-pull about being drawn to astrology and for now am satisfying that interest with looking at charts and rather than figuring out the future, I figure out the personality. Sun trine Jupiter in your chart? The short interpretation is you are likely to be lucky. Venus conjunct Saturn? You are likely to be very loyal in love, friendships might be few but with considerable depth. Personality aspects are interesting and fun, like a parlor game. And for me, prediciting the future would be interesting too if all I saw were wonderful things ahead or if I looked only at charts of people I don't know. It's too personal and scary to look ahead in charts of people close to me.

So instead of loved ones, I decided to concentrate on the U.S. natal chart. Yes, countries have a place and time of birth also. Let me just say, which isn't exactly saying much, that we are looking towards some difficult and changing times ahead. I am very interested in the end of July, only 9 or 10 days away when some extreme aspects that haven't been seen since the 1930's will be exact. Time will tell, it always does, and I know time knows much more than I ever will about the future.